Once
by Veil of Shadows
Summary: HPxNaruto crossover. Harry and Sasuke have lost so much and forsaken even more...but they can't bring themselves to lose each other. [HarryxSasuke]


-1_I. Harry_

_There was once a time when I thought I could count on the strength of others to protect me_.

He returns once before he leaves, in July, at twilight. The sky is unbearably light; the air is unbearably warm. Somehow, he had always imagined Dumbledore's grave to be perpetually cold and dark. (The fact that it hadn't been when he'd last seen it didn't seem to register.)

Now that he's here, he isn't quite sure what he had come here to do. So he sits, staring at the ground when he cannot bring himself to face the tomb. He wants to cry, but the tears have long dried; he wants to scream, but his voice has drifted away.

When they come to bring him in, he is asleep, leaning against the tomb, eyes shut tight as if to block out the pain.

_There was once a time when I thought I could count on the companionship of others to sustain me_.

He is covered in blood and sweat. Slowly, he surveys the scene. Bodies litter the battlefield. There is no sign of a living thing.

He does not think or feel; only his eyes absorb what has happened. He picks up Ron and Hermiones' bodies and summons the Knight Bus.

The new conductor stares at him, but for once, he can't bring himself to care. "Take me to Hogsmeade," he orders.

The conductor complies.

From there, he carries the bodies--first standing, then crawling--to the Hogwarts gates. There he collapses.

They find him like that hours later.

---

Ginny, Neville, and Luna block his way as he moves towards the exit.

"No," he says, heading off the question before it is even asked.

"It wasn't going to be an offer," Ginny replies coolly, bringing her wand up.

"We want to come with you."

"I thought that was what friends were supposed to do."

"_No_!" he cries. "Get out of my way, you're not coming."

They don't move.

"I won't let you get hurt, like-- I'll break all the bones in your bodies if that's what it takes to make you stop. You're not coming. Don't try me."

Of course they do.

---

An hour or so later, Harry steps carefully over his friends on his way out of Hogwarts.

He didn't need to go so far as breaking their bones after all, it seems.

He doesn't feel (won't allow himself to feel) as he walks away.

II. Sasuke

_There was once a time when I thought I could count on the strength of others to protect me._

Sasuke walks through the deserted Uchiha compound. It is almost easy (yet incredibly hard) to believe that mere days ago, this place was filled with people.

Shadows still remain, lurking in the edges of Sasuke's vision. His mother and father, aunts, uncles, cousins, and those still more distant, those he knew more by face than by name. (He imagines they stare at him, and their direct gaze feels like an accusation.)

Each step he takes echoes in the vast emptiness. He visits each house and walks through the rooms. Only the silence testifies to everything that has taken place there.

For hours, he does this. It is a resolution, an apology, a promise to the dead.

Last of all, he returns home.

Sasuke walks through his parents' room (too empty) and his brother's (not empty enough).

Tears run down his face, but no one sees them; screams escape his throat, but no one hears them.

He knows that any former purpose he might have had is void now. From this day, he lives only to kill his brother.

_There was once a time when I thought I could count on the companionship of others to sustain me._

Sakura is waiting for him at the exit.

He hadn't expected anyone to be here. Especially not _her_.

"What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the night?"

"I knew you'd come this way...so I just waited here..."

"Get out of here...go back to sleep..." He takes one step, then two, then three, until he can no longer see Sakura's face. (He can't look at her.)

"Why won't you say anything to me?" she cries. "Why do you always keep so quiet? You never say a single word to me...No matter what, you always hate me, don't you--you remember, right?"

He stops dead in his tracks.

"...The first time we were here by ourselves, you were so mad at me..."

He swallows. "I don't remember that," he says as shortly as he can manage. (It's hard to be like that with _her_.)

"...yeah, I guess you're right...that's all in the past, huh?" she says, and he can almost see the pained smile. "That's when it all began though--you and me...and Naruto and Kakashi-sensei..."

(She is _trying _to avert him, obviously. It's not going to work. He doesn't at _all _feel the urge to turn back. Definitely not.)

"We did all sorts of missions," she continues. "It was painful and difficult at times...Even with that though...I still enjoyed it.

"I know all about your past, Sasuke! Even if you get revenge...it won't make anyone happy. Not even you, Sasuke...or me."

(Still not turning around.)"I know that. I'm different from you all...there is something else I have to do. Deep inside my heart, I've already decided on revenge. It's the only reason I live.

"I'll never be like you or Naruto." (It is the truth, after all. Right?)

"Do you really want to go back to being alone? You told me how painful it was...Right now, I know your pain! I may have friends and family, but if you left...I would be just as alone as you."

(A shinobi shows no emotions. Emotions are shackles. They weaken. He's sure that's somewhere in the ninja handbook.)

"From here on out, we begin new paths," he replies. (_Not _turning.)

"I--I love you with all my heart!" she cries. "If you stayed with me, there would be no regrets...because every day, we'd do something fun, we'd be happy, I swear!

"I would do anything for you. Please, just stay with me...I'll even help you with your revenge--I don't know what I could do, but I'll try my best to do something...so please, stay with me--or take me with you if you can't stay..."

He turns. "You really are annoying," he whispers. It's as though his energy has been spent trying not to care. (And he's not turning back and he's not taking her with him and not taking her _still doesn't mean he cares_.)

"_Don't leave!_ If you do, I'll scream!"

He moves swiftly behind her. "Sakura...thank you."

It is easy, in the end. Every shinobi knows exactly where to hit in order to knock someone out in one blow. She doesn't even resist. He places her gently (still not caring) on the park bench.

He doesn't feel anything as he walks away.

---

They meet on a cool, dreary day, in a city where nothing seems to care. As they pass each other, their heads snap up. Later, Harry tells himself it is Sasuke's unusual appearance he notices; Sasuke doesn't really have an excuse.

In truth, they are attracted to each other because each sees his own expression on the other's face.

---

When Harry takes a step forward, Sasuke follows. (He is a stranger in this world, after all.)

Harry doesn't seem to mind. (He doesn't have an excuse.)

---

"So...who are you anyway?"

"Uchiha Sasuke. What about you?"

"Harry Potter. No--I mean what are you doing here?"

--

(Harry doesn't know why he's offering.)

"If I help you find...whatever it is you're looking for, will you help me?"

"All right."

(Sasuke doesn't know why he's accepting.)

---

Harry is, oddly enough, reluctant to think that they're close to finding the Horcrux. After this, they'll go look for whatever Sasuke's supposed to be finding, and then...

And then they'll part ways.

(He hasn't considered not letting Sasuke leave. He hasn't.)

---

They have no reason to stay together. What needed to be found has been found. And yet...

They told themselves that it was necessity. But now, they have nothing to tell except what it isn't.

It isn't friendship. It isn't family. It isn't love.

But it is all of those things and more. It is companionship and protection and everything they have been running away from.

They do not part ways because after all they have lost and left behind, they could not lose this too.


End file.
